Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Authentic Me


Yesterday I started pondering as to why I’ve been in such a funk the past few years. Sure, it does seem like a mid-life crisis…but I don’t believe in that mumbo-jumbo.

So, my kids are ALMOST grown up (16 & 18), my job is mindless and dull (not that I'm really complaining but...), my relationship with hubby is comfy & strong (20 years this October). My conclusion, I have not been honoring my “self”, my ideas, my beliefs, my values.

Do you see that little bit about me over there to the left (under that picky of me)? That is the self that I desire. The truth? I’m far from it. I haven’t been actively pursuing any of my dreams and goals.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I want to live within my true identity and my most authentic self. I can still put little sparks of my authentic self out in the world each day. I think of my co-worker, an Accountant. You may think, “Blah, an Accountant can’t sparkle”. But she does. She loves color and displays it in her choice of clothing, her cheerful demeanor, and her rainbow of colored pens, markers and highlighters she works with daily.

I want to ooze spunk. I want to be a quirky old lady that has lived a glorious life. Right now I’d be a boring, grumpy old lady that wouldn’t have much of a story to tell.

That’s going to change my friends. For too long I’ve suppressed the Authentic me and taken the easy road. You know the one, with as little confrontation, bending the rules and discomfort as possible.

That Authentic me is Creative, Healthy, full of Fun, Spirit, and Love.

Perhaps Tuesdays can be my weekly muse on the journey to the Authentic Me.
Photo Credit: mark sebastian

8 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh, I like the idea! Get creative on Tuesdays, b/c if you don't give yourself some time and credit life just becomes a vicious cycle.

City Girl said...

I think that is a wonderful idea - esp as you are coming into a new phase of your life :)

FWIW I wish my mom did more of that.... though I went to college very early (just shy of age 16) and I think that was a shock that, while not sudden, she was unprepared for. I am 30 now, but I do wish I had encouraged her finding her authentic self more back then. I try now though.

Globetrotting Cacti said...

Good on you.... I can not wait to hear about your development and journey on the way. As my friend says to me "never be beige".

Pink Heels said...

OMG! I know the perfect person that you need to speak to, Jill Bryan. She hosts "Mid Life Oasis" workshops that center around all of the issues that you discussed in this post.

She is in the process of completely changing her website (pardon the mess) but here is the url http://www.creativeoasiscoaching.com/

I know her personally and find her to be an absolutely amazing woman. Her teleclasses are GREAT!

Revisionista said...

This is a fabulous idea! I'm looking to more posts on these Tuesday transformations :)

(creativeoasiscoach) said...

Hi Jules - Pink Heels just sent me the link to your post and I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Jill Allison Bryan, a creative lifestyle coach. I help women (mostly in and around mid-life) to create their own mid-life oasis (a term I use to describe the time and space for authentic personal fulfillment in our busy day-to-day lives) I know exactly how you're feeling. In fact, it was a search to re-connect with my authentic self that led me down a wonderful path several years ago to my current career. So many of us tend to put everyone else's needs ahead of our own (boss, family, community) - sometimes we just need a little guidance and compassionate support to begin making the small changes that can give us back our own true (fulfilled!) identity. Sounds like you're ready to do just that and I wish you all the best!

Pink Heels said...

Yeah! I am so glad to see that Jill is connecting with this wonderful blog and Julie's new journey!

Jill...YOU TOTALLY ROCK!!!

Marisa said...

We're all a work in progress...have fun with it!